a quarter of a girl

far from flawless

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Some more dreams

 I had a dream recently that I was going to some kind of party at a movie theatre. I was really excited to see a bunch of friends and talk to everyone and had fun, so I skipped confidently into the theatre, foregoing all my usual social nervousness. When I walked in I saw a bunch of friends from band— whoever’s party it was had rented the whole theatre, and while it wasn’t completely filled, all the people I saw were people I knew. I particularly remember Eddie, a trumpet freshman, and my friend Richard. I was walking down the aisles, casually flitting from group to group, greeting friends here and there and looking for some who I’d be able to sit with— but then I reached the very front of the theatre and hadn’t been invited/hadn’t been comfortable enough to sit with anyone. Sad and dejected, I ended up slinking into an empty row and just sitting by myself.

Read more …

Filed under dream dreams

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quaddle Here you go! I remember drawing her before, very cute :) I hope i did her more justice this time tho!!

(this is also the last sketch request im doin for a little while, I wanna work on making more adopts ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ)

Filed under AHHH art davanti oc

136,115 notes


ANONYMOUS PLAY TIME! (or not, up to you)

Send me one of these and I’ll answer.

  • HYE have you ever?
  • FMK fuck marry kill (with three names)
  • KHC kiss hug cuddle (with three names)
  • AMA ask me anything
  • HON hot or not? 
  • WWY well would you?
  • WYR would you rather? 
  • TOD truth or dare?
  • SMW ship me with? (send me ships)
  • TOT this or that?
  • WIS who I ship? (with myself, or with others — specify) 

(via fluffy-puppy)

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Have I ever told you guys about what my family does for the Fourth of July? Every year we hold this tournament, named after my nan, called Martha Madness. It’s in the spirit of March Madness for college basketball, but instead of being a competition between sports teams, its between my twenty-one cousins… and the ultimate prize is Nan’s love and the title of “Favorite Grandchild”. The tournament is led by a committee of relatives who seed each of the cousins, ranking them according to how much Nan likes them. In addition to their seed number (there are two of each seed, one seeds being the most-beloved and ten seeds being the underdogs, with a “play-in game” to determine the unlucky twenty-first grandchild who doesn’t make it into the tournament) each competitor gets a short, snarky profile detailing their failures and successes over the previous year— e.g. “While Nan appreciates Brittany’s fun-loving personality and Southern charm, the fact that she hasn’t produced a grandchild yet is going to seriously hurt her”, “Apparently CJ just got engaged, but he visits Nan so rarely that she’s not even sure she knows who he is even more”, “Even though Dutch recently accepted a high-profile job with the NBA, Nan’s still upset that he forgot to call her on Easter”. After all the seeding and bios are decided, a bracket is organized to determine which seeds “play against” each other. Near the end of our annual Fourth of July party, everyone in attendance is called to stand in front of Nan’s deck, where the tournament officially begins. For each “game”, the committee fills a cup with two different colored M ‘n M’s. Each color represents an opposing grandchild, and the amount of M ‘n M’s differs based on the grandchild’s seed (a higher seed, since they’re more likely to win, gets more M ‘n M’s). The profiles of the competitors are read, and then the chairman of the committee closes his eyes and draws an M ‘n M from the cup. Whoever’s color is drawn gets to move on in the tournament, until a Final Four is reached. The last four remaining grandchildren are all called up to the deck, where they make speeches to convince Nan why they should be deemed the favorite grandchild (ploys this year included a bribe to introduce Nan to her favorite basketball coach and a sympathy bid from my brother who just got a kidney transplant). After all the ceremony, the victor of each match is decided in the same way… except this time it’s Nan herself who picks the M ‘n M from the cup (always preceded by an assurance that she loves everyone equally, which is clearly not true), crowning the most beloved grandchild of all. … This tournament, as insane (though insanely well-planned!) as it is, is honestly one of my favorite parts of the entire summer. XD

Filed under family fourth of july tradition nan tournament AWESOME FAVE

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Ayyy it’s TMI Tuesday! I haven’t gotten asks for this thing in a while so anyone wanna shoot me a question? Or a random message? Or any kind of rant about their lives? Or anything….????

Filed under tmi tuesday tmi asks hello hi

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So I need to make some art for commission examples, and I’d like to use some OCs other than my own for once (lmao). So if you’re interested, go ahead and reblog this and send me a message with which slot you would like and a reference sheet/reference of your character!!! I can draw feral and…

Filed under reblog

2 notes

walking down the street and ed sheeran songs keep whistling through my head, running by on repeat, pre-fucking-dictable, what is it about foggy nights like these that bring out the romantic in me i could never find otherwise?

and as i’m walking and feeling and reeling i’m remembering, things i swore i’d never forget while they were happening and cursed about being unable to recall the second they were done

they’re bounding back

it’s something about being back in this place, of course- this is no longer my bed, but the place where sarah and nicole cried over depression, held each other in their arms, eyes closed, voices hoarse, and turned to my stupid break-the-tension laughter, that stupid squeezy toy i brandished with a ridiculous honk, and choked grief-genuine “thank yous”, saying i’d brought light to their lives

later that night i laid dead quiet and dead stiff in the next room over, wishing i might feel dead in every other way too

my eyeballs were soaked with stagnant years, marinating

i couldn’t summon up the resolve to squeeze out the tears so i just let them pool and fester, like maybe i’d drowned

i wanted to be resolved of all responsibility always so i could stay up all night crying like a real person with sarah and nicole and their bony arms and knowing looks

i’d take talking through that warm veil of alcohol like alex and daniel, before or after i raucously, boozing informed them that the one rule of the house was “no boys can get hammered and try on my bathing suits” and they proceeded to get hammered and ask where i kept my bathing suits…

i’d even be okay with being deven, curled up in a fetal position on the bathroom floor with my clothes off, clawing at the walls and wailing, then whispering, “why won’t she just love me?” about a girl who was ostensibly much more broken and hid it much more well

we almost called the ambulance for him— well, they did, anyway, while i laid and soaked and festered

two mornings later we found a red solo cup filled with crusty vodka gummy bears in the same place under my bed where i’d once found a used condom that couldn’t have belonged to anyone i’d ever known and now that the alcoholic veil had been lifted, we were so confused about what to do now that we almost downed the grimy gummies right there

i don’t know why those nights were everything, but sometimes that’s what happens, something you don’t get a warning before something changes you forever

maybe none of them will ever love me again, and maybe none of them ever did, even though helina wanted to have a slumber party and john gave me his profoundest thanks and richard with his shaky voice and his shaky legs and his shaky resolve to spend all summer “throwing garage parties and drinking tequila” mustered up the courage to even come at all

maybe those things weren’t love but the moment, the impulse, yes, the haze

maybe none of it was real after all

i mean, who can prove it?

the gummy bears were thrown away, all the empty bottles and cans and bottles were heaped into bulging white trash bags like glaciers soon to melt out of existence, sarah and nicole dried their tears and unloved deven survived

there’s no proof but those deleted pictures that, even before they were discarded, were shaky at best

maybe i dreamed it all, everyone, the fun and friends

i wouldn’t even be surprised, anymore

after that haze, after all the things i felt and saw, i know that anything can happen, anyone can happen, and things are never as they seem

Filed under writing haze drunk love thoughts on a scale of one to preworkout...WOO!

717,120 notes


Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
Talk about your first kiss.
Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
Talk about the best birthday you've had.
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Talk about your biggest insecurity.
Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.
Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Talk about a vacation.
Talk about the time you were most content in life.
Talk about the best party you've ever been to.
Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
Talk about something that happened in middle school.
Talk about something that happened in high school.
Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
Talk about your worst fear.
Talk about a time someone turned you down.
Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
Talk about an ex-best friend.
Talk about things you do when you're sick.
Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
Talk about your fetishes.
Talk about what turns you on.
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Talk about what you think death is like.
Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
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Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
Talk about your guilty pleasures.
Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
Talk about the end of something in your life.