a quarter of a girl

far from flawless

5 notes

WHAT THE HELL

I DID IT

I WON CAMP NANOWRIMO

50,000 WORDS

ONE MONTH

A NOVEL

BANG

I DID IT

I CREATED A PLOT AND FLESHED OUT A CHARACTER AND KEPT UP WITH IT

I WROTE EVERY SINGLE DAY

I DIDN’T GIVE UP

I KEPT ON TRUCKING EVEN WHEN IT WAS ROUGH

EVEN WHEN I TOTALLY DOUBTED WHAT I WAS PUTTING ON PAPER, FELT LIKE IT WAS STUPID AND TRITE AND POINTLESS, I KEPT PUSHING THE WORDS OUT

AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME NOW

I NEVER EVER IMAGINED I WOULD SUCCESSFULLY DO THIS

I THOUGHT I’D FLAKE OUT, MAYBE BEFORE JULY EVEN STARTED, MAYBE AFTER A FEW DAYS, DEFINITELY BY THE END OF THE FIRST WEEK

BUT I DIDN’T

I SAW THIS THING THROUGH TO THE END

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S TO COME NEXT FOR MY STILL-UNFINISHED LITTLE NOVEL, BUT ONE THING I DO KNOW?

I AM GODDAMN PROUD OF MYSELF

Filed under nanowrimo camp nanowrimo camp nanowrimo 2014 writing winner proud

3 notes

detail-swag-hace:

So my goal for the last few days of school has been to get all the members of my beloved trumpet section to sign my yearbook <3

I ended up getting signatures from nine of fifteen, which isn’t so bad because of the missing six, four cut band every day (aka I never see them anywhere ever) and one hasn’t been in school for the past few weeks because of super-intense rowing stuff she’s involved in, so I really only dropped the ball with one (since I didn’t see him in band I promised I’d meet him in his French class fourth period to get his signature but oddly enough I unintentionally ended up in the same French classroom with the same teacher to get a different signature just the period before, so I felt kind of awkward about crashing her class again immediately after and decided I’d try to look for him elsewhere but never actually found him).

I adore all the signatures I did get, though!

… Er, for the most part. ;P

 There’s the freshie who addressed his note as “Dear my sister-in-law” (due to an inside joke where he decided to marry my little sister) and signed it “Master of Disney World and Supreme Warlord Captain Falcon”, the other freshie who included “FSSU” (an acronym I’d never heard before but absolutely adore now… “Fuck some shit up” INDEED) and signed it “I’ll always be your Eel”, with a little picture of an eel, after the annoying nickname I gave him that grew into a total sign of undying sisterly love, the sophomore who wrote a really sweetly heartfelt missive (including “I love the enthusiasm that you always brought to the trumpet section and I know you will not be forgotten”), the other sophomore who wrote another really sweetly heartfelt missive (basically “Thank you for everything throughout high school and always making band so fun”, which, for such a quiet, stoic kid, was saying a LOT), another sophomore who wrote “You are the funniest senior ever, MUCH funnier than” and then made a big scribble and whispered in my ear “I can’t tell you whose name that is but I think you can safely guess” (because my sister and I always fight— only half jokingly!— about which of us he likes more, so that admission of triumph MEANT A WHOLE LOT TO ME), the junior who I passed my flame onto (an honor that basically means you’re asking an underclassmen to carry on your legacy after you graduate) who referenced a bunch of our dorky trumpet inside jokes (“donuts and silly hats and all the good times in band”, I believe) and assured me he would carry on my legacy, and my prom date, whose signature was cute but awkwardly abrupt and formal, which is actually perfect for him (I mean, who includes their middle name in a yearbook signature? First and last is uncommon enough!).

Of course, band kids being band kids, I got a few weird ones too— one signature just said “Dumb bitch”, which was a little disappointing but is kind of funny too I guess… and I honestly can’t tell if this is the best thing in the world or the worst, but instead of saying anything heartfelt, personal, or even normal, one of my weirdo sectionmates literally wrote me a paragraph on the history of the Zionist movement.

That’s something, it’s worth noting, that doesn’t even have any context because it’s not an inside joke of ours, we never had a history class together, that absolutely never came up into conversation with us and hell, he’s never even expressed any interest in Zionism— he’s not even Jewish!

He’s just a really, really, really weird kid. And now I’ll be able to remember that forever. :P

Filed under marching band yearbook FAVE smores miles richard captain falcon eel kento dino

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detail-swag-hace:

One of the things that I’m going to miss most about band is having wave fights with my freshie Eddie ;w;

He doubles on trumpet and tuba, but those sections sit on opposite sides of the classroom, so whenever he has to play tuba in class he trudges over there with his head down and a huge pout, acting like a kicked puppy, all sad to be leaving his TRUE section.

He quickly remedies that sadness, though, by waving. Rapidly, constantly, and with the most incredibly dorky smile on his face. He sits there on the far side of the room and just waves his hands for forty minutes straight, as fast as possible, grinning like a deranged cartoon character all the while. He never stops and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even blink when he’s in that zone! Look up at any given moment and you’ll see him, not playing, not listening to the director, just sitting there waving, wearing a vacant smile. Make eye contact with him, then, and just like in Pokemon, it means war…

Seriously, it never fails to cheer me up when I happen to glimpse that goofy little face and ever-present wave out of the corner of my eye… x3

Filed under marching band freshies sweaty eddie

6 notes

detail-swag-hace:

As this year dragged on, my section just became more and more incompetent…

See, we actually started the year fairly organized with our parts, having five to six players on each part. The first trumpets are obviously the proudest of their music, so we’ve always been pretty fanatic about guarding our parts and hoarding all relevant music to practice— until one day this year, totally out of the blue, someone apparently misplaced their folder and “borrowed” someone else’s, creating a series of unfortunate events that led to basically no trumpet one having their own folder anymore and every folder somehow lacking every single piece of music that we need to play. Essentially we lost almost every single trumpet one piece in every single song; one day when half the trumpet ones happened to be absent, rendering their music unstealable because they’d locked it in their lockers, I asked the remaining two boys what music they were playing. One smiled casually, glanced at the part on his stand, looked back at me, and declared, dead serious, “… Clarinet three.”

Filed under marching band miles whoops

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detail-swag-hace:

So Matt, the freshman who sat next to me in band, would ALWAYS be obnoxiously on his phone, and it became kind of a running joke that every day when he cane into class he’d be playing a new, incredibly weird app.

He went from meme-y Flappy Bird knockoffs to that virtual drug dealer thing to Make It Rain, a game whose sole purpose is to flip through wads of cash so that you can earn wads of cash to buy more wads of cash, which you then flip through some more ad nauseum.

He was apparently becoming very stressed by the toll this game was taking on his fingers and begged me “JENNA, CAN YOU MAKE IT RAIN FOR ME? I NEED MORE MONEY BUT I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE.”

… Of course I told him a gleeful no, seeing as that seemed to me like the literal stupidest game of all time.

Petulantly he hissed “Fine, Alex will make it rain for me, then!”

He passed the phone to the girl sitting in front of him, who gladly started playing.

As the period rolled on, we witnessed his phone get passed to every single person in the trumpet section, who each took turns making it rain with various degrees of enthusiasm and intensity, until it had finally ended up on the whole other side of the band room!

It was in the hands of this freshman we call Eel, one of those lovable asshole types who everyone affectionately mocks always. Matt started getting all antsy because he wanted his phone back, but Eel was too far away to hear us yelling at him to return it.

Our solution?

I joyfully yelped “LET’S CYBERBULLY EEL!”

We started texting a slew of totally random, lame insults to Matt’s phone from fine, from the poignant “u smell” to the subtle “GO HOME”…

And I guess it worked, because eventually the phone found its way back to its rightful owner! Huzzah. ;P

… Seriously though, I thought it was really cute how our section came together over this totally asinine money-gaining game. :0

Filed under marching band freshies matty boy eel

5 notes

detail-swag-hace:

 Guys I was one of the three winners for the “class musician” senior superlative in our yearbook!!!! (That’s me all in different weird shades of blue because we happened to take that picture on a day during spirit week where blue was the theme XD)
It’s kinda funny because despite my intense and undying and absolutely unashamed adoration for all things marching band, I am honestly NOT a very musical person at all (music theory makes me cower in fear, I still don’t really get sharps and flats, scales hella bother me, I don’t think I’ve even taken my trumpet home to practice since marching season, and I’ve literally said, on multiple occasions, the exact words “I HATE MUSIC”, typically in regards to people in band asking me for technically complicated instrumental help that I in no way would ever be able to give them) but I guess that means I was elected for the award solely on the basis of my epic band geekery (comparison: the other girl is our head drum major and a beautiful singer in musicals and the boy is an incredibly gifted but also incredibly underrated trombonist who’s so good that he once won a soloist award at a jazz competition for playing backup to the actual solo) and honestly for that I AM HONORED

detail-swag-hace:

 Guys I was one of the three winners for the “class musician” senior superlative in our yearbook!!!! (That’s me all in different weird shades of blue because we happened to take that picture on a day during spirit week where blue was the theme XD)

It’s kinda funny because despite my intense and undying and absolutely unashamed adoration for all things marching band, I am honestly NOT a very musical person at all (music theory makes me cower in fear, I still don’t really get sharps and flats, scales hella bother me, I don’t think I’ve even taken my trumpet home to practice since marching season, and I’ve literally said, on multiple occasions, the exact words “I HATE MUSIC”, typically in regards to people in band asking me for technically complicated instrumental help that I in no way would ever be able to give them) but I guess that means I was elected for the award solely on the basis of my epic band geekery (comparison: the other girl is our head drum major and a beautiful singer in musicals and the boy is an incredibly gifted but also incredibly underrated trombonist who’s so good that he once won a soloist award at a jazz competition for playing backup to the actual solo) and honestly for that I AM HONORED

Filed under marching band my face and i take full responsibility for it

4 notes

detail-swag-hace:

I would like to present to you guys, in all of their glory, the list of paper plate awards I made for my section at our end-of-the-year breakfast <3

"Best stripper dance moves on the field"

"Fanciest footwear" (for the kid who wears a pair of dirty, tattered, literally falling apart pink one dollar sandals from K-Mart to school every single day)

"Magical marcher"

"Solo superstar"

"High five master"

"Disney Land champion" (he was an INVALUABLE resource during our band trip)

"Biggest laxer bro"

"Best selfies taken on her phone during band"

"Wish you were here" (for the girl who never showed up to anything and, predictably, didn’t actually show up for the breakfast either)

"Angry elf" (for the kid who was SO ADORABLY GRUMPY ALWAYS)

"We miss you" (for the kid whose weird schedule meant that he was only in band every other day, but on the opposite day from all the other every-other-day people)

"Best virtual drug dealer from his phone in the middle of class (bitch)" (kind of a long story…)

"Most graceful leap off the second floor of a building during the Disney trip" (kind of an even longer story…)

"Marches to the beat of his own drum" (for the worst marcher in the entire band)

I even made a few honorary ones for non-trumpets, because our section bonding events traditionally pick up a few stragglers… XD 

"Best honorary trumpet"

"Best honorary former trumpet (kind of)" (for the clarinetist who practiced trumpet for a week then just totally gave up)

"Mama Mellophone"

"Band God" (for my universally beloved brother)

"Fave saxophone" (for the twin sister of the drug dealer bitch trumpet player who was sad that her section didn’t have bonding events too)

"Mini Me" (for a mellophone who reminds me of myself when I was a freshman)

… These were so much fun to make. So so so much fun. So potentially terrifying (WHAT IF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE THEIR AWARDS??? WHAT IF IT’S…. AWKWARD?????) and super difficult (WHAT THE HECK CAN I SAY ABOUT THIS PERSON???) and time-consuming (plus: sooooo many paper plates) but SO SO SO MUCH FUN.

Filed under marching band FAVE

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detail-swag-hace:

I’m really gonna miss all the incredibly stupid, goofy junk I used to do with my sectionmates in band… sticking random pieces of metal to our foreheads and seeing how long we could keep them there without falling off, wailing “CHOO CHOOOOOO” at each other while listening to a piece of music that was vaguely reminiscent of the Polar Express, doodling ceaselessly all over each other’s papers (including my ubiquitous li’l wolves and that beautiful “Jalapeño Tongue” that Scott saw fit to add to one, signing and dating it like a real artist), deciding to illegally work together on an individual listening test (when the director came by and saw us sharing a sheet I bs’ingly told him I didn’t have my own paper… which became awkward really quickly when he immediately pulled out a sheet for me, saying “Oh, here you go!”) where we were meant to describe specific qualities of music like what made it memorable, challenging, or similar to other pieces (even though all we wanted to do was PLAY, and even though we also kept dropping our pencils and pens in increasingly improbable places) and ended up creating the most beautiful and incredibly dumb worksheet of all time, full of insightful comments like “GREAT pause!!!!!!!!”, doodles of sin, cosine, longitudinal, and transverse waves for a piece of music titled “Waves”, and Scott tacking “is awesome” on the end of my name on top of the paper with me adding “is adequate” after his (I later put in a caret and changed it to “better than” adequate), while we “regifted” balls of garbage to other people in the section and indulged in pointlessly but gleefully volatile Angry Elf rants on everyone who had ever annoyed us…

Dang, those were some good times. And some stupid times. So so good and so so stupid. <3

Filed under marching band smores

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detail-swag-hace:

The other day a freshman in my section confided to me that coming to band always makes him feel good about himself because “band people laugh at everything, so no matter how horrible your jokes are, everyone always thinks you’re funny.” … I think that’s a thousand percent accurate, actually XD

Filed under marching band matty boy freshies

8 notes

detail-swag-hace:

Guys, see that little maroon and white piece of string tied to my trumpet? It was a “gift” that I got from my beloved majorette friends right before my last high school marching band parade ever and it actually means a lot to me ;^;
We were standing around talking, singing (terribly), laughing, and sharing stories, like we always do, and my friend Sarah, one of the majorette captains, brightly asked me “Are you ready to lead the trumpets?” like she always does, and I responded “OBVI!” like I always do, and then all of a sudden it kind of dawned on us that that was the last time that was ever going to happen and we got kind of sad and sentimental and Sarah was like “WAIT A SECOND, WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU” and then all the majorettes darted away in a secretive little huddle and they returned a few minutes later with this tiny braid made up of a few pieces of string they had pulled from the tassels on this girl Laura’s shoe and they were like “THIS IS A GIFT TO YOU, BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO REMEMBER US…”
And even though it sounds like such a trivial, stupid, silly little thing it actually touched me so much because dang, man, that’s just… a really really sweet gesture… so I tied their gift to my trumpet and I’m planning on keeping it there as long as I possibly can so that I will, in fact, remember them, every time I play. &lt;3

detail-swag-hace:

Guys, see that little maroon and white piece of string tied to my trumpet? It was a “gift” that I got from my beloved majorette friends right before my last high school marching band parade ever and it actually means a lot to me ;^;

We were standing around talking, singing (terribly), laughing, and sharing stories, like we always do, and my friend Sarah, one of the majorette captains, brightly asked me “Are you ready to lead the trumpets?” like she always does, and I responded “OBVI!” like I always do, and then all of a sudden it kind of dawned on us that that was the last time that was ever going to happen and we got kind of sad and sentimental and Sarah was like “WAIT A SECOND, WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU” and then all the majorettes darted away in a secretive little huddle and they returned a few minutes later with this tiny braid made up of a few pieces of string they had pulled from the tassels on this girl Laura’s shoe and they were like “THIS IS A GIFT TO YOU, BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO REMEMBER US…”

And even though it sounds like such a trivial, stupid, silly little thing it actually touched me so much because dang, man, that’s just… a really really sweet gesture… so I tied their gift to my trumpet and I’m planning on keeping it there as long as I possibly can so that I will, in fact, remember them, every time I play. <3

Filed under marching band sweet personal